StoopidDog

Daily Fail

2012-01-15T15:21:00.000-08:00

Seriously, how hard is it to operate a kiddie swing on the playground? Apparently for these mental giants, it is as hard as the dirt this kid ran his face through. This is the future of society, y'all...

via Failblog.org

7 Things You Probably Didn't Know About Viagra

2011-09-18T18:59:00.000-07:00

Viagra has been a lifesaver to many millions of men around the world who suffer from erectile dysfunction. There are probably very few people who have never actually heard of Viagra, a.k.a. the little blue pill, the blue diamond, vitamin V etc. etc. However, not very many people know that much about this little wonder pill.

But, for those of you who do know a bit about Viagra, or even if all you know is that “it’s good!” here are few more somewhat useless, yet kind of interesting, facts about Viagra.

1. Viagra, like so many other miraculous medical breakthroughs (like vaccinations and having the option to be put under before having your leg amputated) was discovered by accident. Researchers in the U.K. were attempting to create a drug to treat a heart condition. Unfortunately, they weren’t having much success. They would have stopped the research had they not discovered that the bulges in some of the test subjects’ trousers were in fact NOT flashlights and they (probably) weren’t just happy to see them either. These involuntary erections were a very fortunate side effect, it turns out, and Pfizer marketed the drug as Viagra five years after the embarrassing “Well, this is awkward…” incident.

2. Viagra was one of the first prescription drugs that was marketed directly to the user. Usually, since prescription drugs must be prescribed by a doctor, the pharmaceutical company tries to sell the physicians on the drug. In Viagra’s case, Pfizer knew that if they let men who suffered from ED know about the drug, they would be scrambling to ask their doctors about it. (Smart buggers….)

3. Aside from making it possible for men with ED to engage in normal sexual activity, Viagra has also been suggested as a possible cure for other ailments as well. In one study, small doses of Viagra were shown to reduce the effects of jet lag in hamsters. But, this was only if the hamsters were flying eastward. Why? We don’t know! But, it may be a good excuse to pop a pill and join the miles high club. What else are you gonna do on a 12 hour flight to Tokyo?...

4. And the cool applications don’t just stop there! Viagra may also be used to treat severe cases of altitude sickness. The same action that relaxes the muscles in the penis and allows blood to flow through, causing an erection (believe it or not, there is no bone involved), helps to relax the blood vessels in the lungs so that they can more effectively absorb the oxygen in the thin air.

5. If you think that’s a bit strange, you probably haven’t heard that researchers at the University of Washington are suggesting that boys as young as 8 start taking Viagra as a preventative measure against a certain heart condition. They propose giving these boys doses that are far higher than the doses taken by grown men to treat ED. This hasn’t been approved (for obvious reasons) but can you imagine being a little boy again, and aside from dealing with the occasional embarrassing boner, you’d basically be a walking hard-on? (poor kids…)

6. At least this next guy was only marketing this stuff to grown up men. If you were on planet earth recently, you may have heard that Prince William (cue unwarranted swooning) got married to his Princess Kate. To celebrate the occasion, a British brewer decided to make a sort of “consummation” beer in honor of the royal couple. The brew contained the equivalent of about 1/3 a pill of Viagra per bottle. It contained a few other aphrodisiac substances and the label even had the slogan “Arise, Prince Willie”.

7. As a final fun fact: If you are looking for an alternative to Viagra, well, search no more! There may be a very potent way to get it up and keep it up for at least 4 hours…. IF you are willing to get bitten by a Brazilian wandering spider. This spider’s venomous bite can kill you…. or leave you with a long lasting (yet quite painful) erection. Nurses in Brazil say that they can always tell a victim of this spider bite when they come into the ER. Aside from the screaming, victims also can be spotted by their obviously aroused state (must be confusing…). Doctors are trying to isolate the chemical that causes the erection, but until then, we suggest you stick to more conventional medicines… unless, of course, the Peter Parker method sounds fine to you (Here, spidey, spidey!...)

Guest post by Stacey Cavalari:

Stacey Cavalari holds a B.A in Literature and currently writes for AccessRx.com, an online facilitator for consumers who buy Viagra online and other safe FDA-approved medications such as Levitra. Stacey uses her research scientist skills to cover and uncover big pharma news she shares on the AccessRx Blog.

Man Dies From "Killer" Toothache

2011-09-03T12:20:00.000-07:00

Kyle Willis, 24, of Cincinnati, went to the emergency room two weeks ago complaining of painful swelling in his head and face. This swelling was caused by a wisdom tooth that dentists told the man needed to be extracted. Because of his lack of health insurance and a job, he ignored the dentist's recommendation. When he checked himself into the E.R., Kyle was prescribed an antibiotic and pain killer. Willis couldn't afford both medications, so he opted for the pain killer only.

Left untreated, the infection that started in his wisdom tooth spread to his brain, leading to his death Tuesday.

While a toothache is a pretty strange thing to die from, it isn't unheard of. ABC News says:

"In 2007, 12-year-old Deamonte Driver also died when a tooth infection spread to his brain. The Maryland boy underwent two operations and six weeks of hospital care, totaling $250,000. Doctors said a routine $80 tooth extraction could have saved his life. His family was uninsured and had recently lost its Medicaid benefits, keeping Deamonte from having dental surgery."

As someone who also doesn't have medical insurance, this is a pretty scary story. Luckily my hospital just changed its accepted methods of payment to "Cash, credit, or first born child", so I think I'm in the clear.

Story and video via ABC News

Daily Fail - Treadmill Fail

2011-09-01T17:35:00.000-07:00

Clearly these girls use treadmills on the regular. Clearly I am being sarcastic... clearly.

Who Knew A Little Pee Can Turn A Mouse Embryo Clear?

2011-08-31T19:20:00.000-07:00

Leave it to the Japanese to figure out another way to fuck with living beings. Turns out, when soaked in a solution of urea, (compound found in urine), and antifreeze, you can make adorable clear embryonic gummy bears. This solution is called scale and actually has practical uses aside from just making living things a badass shade of clear.

Scientists at RIKEN in Japan experimented with different recipes of "clearing agents", until they discovered the right combination of glycerol, urea, and Triton-X. When soaked in the solution for two weeks, tissues became crystal clear, allowing for some of the most detailed deep-image scans possible.

These substances allow scientists to study the inner workings of animals and their tissues like never before. When used to clarify a mouse brain, scientists can trace individual neural paths, which can expand our understanding of how our own brains work. So far, this compound can only be used to clarify dead tissue. However, scientists are working on a solution that will hopefully allow living tissues to be studied.

Via Discover Magazine

No Love For Gaga?

2011-08-29T06:31:00.000-07:00

If you watched the MTV VMA's this year, you no doubt saw the attempted kiss of ~~death,~~ I mean Gaga, that was almost lain upon Britney Spears' face. In one awkward 30 seconds, Lady Gaga dressed in drag, tried to pull a Madonna and lay a fresh one on Ms. Spears. Cute right? Only problem is that Brit wasn't going for it.

I'll just have you know, I don't like girls either Brit. But if Lady Gaga wanted to smooch me, then I better just hope I Listerine'd that morning, 'cause it's going to happen.

Video via Yahoo!

My Favorite Images This Week

2011-08-27T14:46:00.000-07:00

Apparently photography sucks this week, because I don't have too many favorites. However, without further fondue, here are the winners.

This bird isn't just cute, he's handy. His head doubles as a rotary drill.

Protests in Yemen? Lol no, Someone dropped a contact.

Snailed it!

One Of The Single Most Beautiful Videos I Have Ever Seen

2011-08-27T13:16:00.000-07:00

Attention everyone who has eyes. Direct them here. They will thank you. This gorgeous piece is a time lapse of Spain's highest mountain, El Teide. The photographer set out to film the Milky Way galaxy in all its glory, but managed to get some extremely beautiful scenic shots to boot. Enjoy!

We're so lucky to have been blessed with such beautiful places as this.

The Mountain from TSO Photography on Vimeo.

Daily Fail - Bathroom Fail

2011-08-26T18:03:00.000-07:00

Aww shit.

Today's fail via Failblog.org

Rihanna Sex Tape Leaking Soon

2011-08-25T18:57:00.000-07:00

I know this is headline news and all, but is this truly surprising? Every celebrity has to have a sex tape these days. Hell, I would even have a sex tape if it weren't for the fact that it would probably be a "solo", with the cat most likely watching like a creep in the background.

That being said, Hustler has confirmed that they have Rihanna's sex tape in their possession. Hustler said about the tape, "We have not made any decisions about what we are going to do with it yet."

Rihanna denies the existence of the tape, saying on Twitter: “We don’t believe U, U need more people…AND of course an actual sextape! #slownewsday,”

Apparently RiRi's sex tape involves her and rapper J. Cole, who opened for her on her 2011 Loud tour.

I would love to be in Rihanna's position right now. I sent nude pictures into Hustler once, and the only thing I got in return was a suicide note. Sadface.

via allieiswired

Parenting Fail

2011-08-24T14:20:00.000-07:00

Oh, children! They are our future. They are (usually) adorable. They say the funniest things. And they can shit bricks on command when trapped inside a shopping cart with a stone demon.

Don't let the shopping cart fool you, they aren't really in the grocery store. That's a hospital, and that kid's new brother.

West Nile Virus is Back... Maybe

2011-08-24T05:38:00.000-07:00

The McHenry county Department of Health confirmed that a batch of trapped mosquitoes from a pool in Woodstock, Illinois harbor West Nile virus. While this is the first case reported in the county out of 103 batches of tested mosquitoes, twelve other Illinois counties have confirmed the presence of West Nile. This does not mean that there will be a severe West Nile outbreak like there was nearly a decade ago, but two human cases have been reported so far.

No need to panic or anything, but it might not be a bad idea to waltz into your local Costco and reserve a pallet of Off! while you still can.

via Northwest Herald

Lady Gaga Guest Starring in Simpsons Episode

2011-08-23T19:32:00.000-07:00

The time has come, everyone. Fox has confirmed to TheWrap, that our Lady of Gaga will guest star in an episode of "The Simpsons", called "Lisa Goes Gaga". This episode centers around Ms. Gaga making her way to the town of Springfield to cheer up Lisa. And as if simply having a cartoon version of Lady Gaga wasn't enough, you can expect some dirty animated girl-on-girl action when Gaga and Marge make like Madonna, and partake in a kiss.

This episode is set to air in the spring of 2012, when "The Simpsons" will enter their 23rd season. I'll set my TiVo to autotune tonight, thankyouverymuch.

Daily Fail - Police Fail

2011-08-20T20:06:00.000-07:00

I know everyone knocks down the police, but I'm all for them. They are a necessity for society to function. That being said, I have to say I really love this video. I just wonder how this guy maintains an air of authority after that teenie tiny mishap. If I were the person he pulled over, I would ask him to recite the ABC's and walk a straight line. Just to be a smartass.

Is This Your Cat?

2011-08-19T19:40:00.000-07:00

So, just a heads-up, this post contains absolutely no substance of any kind. I ran across this image on one of my many journeys across the interwebz, and I can't decide whether this is one of the most adorable, or terrifying things I have ever seen. On one hand, I picture that cute little bandit delivering a lost kitty to its owner. But there's that other side of me that thinks he probably ate it... And judging by that poofed tail, Kitty is pissed.

Daily Fail - Home Shopping Blooper

2011-08-17T09:58:00.000-07:00

So today's fail is definitely an oldie, but a real goodie. This is what happens when you assume shit is the shit you were assuming it was. Is it a horse? A butterfly? It may, in fact, be a moth.... Call Nancy Drew!

TLC Pulls the Plug on 'Kate Plus 8'

2011-08-16T06:37:00.000-07:00

Well, the day has finally come. TLC announced Monday that they will not be renewing 'Kate Plus 8' for another season. While the show will not go on, TLC did mention that they will be checking up on the Gosselins, with periodic specials.

Mega-Mom had this to say to her Twitter followers on the matter:

"TLC canceled it. I'm sorry. We've had a great run! Six years of whirlwind fun-filled adventures. Thanks to TLC and our many, many supportive and diehard fans! While it is very sad for me and the kids (there were many tears at the breakfast table this morning!), we are we are looking forward with great anticipation to our bright future!"

"As is very typical for me, I am choosing to see the positive in this situation and I am excited to consider the many more invigorating opportunities that may come my way. "I poured my entire self into the last six years of Kate + 8 and I can't wait to have the chance to challenge myself again with future endeavors!"

"In the meantime, I hope to have more time for motivational speaking, book writing and other fun work opportunities that come my way. And maybe even some dating? We wish our fans well. And remember, this is not 'goodbye.' I prefer to say 'See you around!'

What did John Gosselin have to say, you may wonder?

”Contracts have to end at some point. I think everything had run its course and it was time to come to an end anyways

via US Magazine

The Ten Commandments for the 21st Century

2011-08-15T14:23:00.000-07:00

So, here I am in the midst of a bout of intense thinking, as per usual, and I start to wonder: "What would the Ten Commandments be like if they were written in the 21st century?" Not that the first draft of the commandments hasn't served us well and all, but nowadays you don't have to worry about Abraham from two cottages down stealing your ox. We have different problems these days, and I think an updated list is in order. So here they are-- the only 10 things you need to know in the 2010's:

1. Thou shalt not spam thy neighbor, less thou be solicited by a Nigerian prince.

2. Thou shalt not watch porn on a screen larger than 30".

3. Thou shall refer to porn as pr0n from this moment on.

4. A man must purchase a vehicle inversely proportionate to the size of his penis.

5. Thou shalt not bear false witness on their online dating profile, lest you spend your days in the company of multitudes of cats.

6. Thou shall wear the label of "douche bag" when speaking on a Bluetooth headset in public at an inappropriate level of volume.

7. If thou is pregnant, thou best fucking know it.

8. When uttering the word "guido", let it be known the proper pronunciation is "p-r-i-c-k"

9. Reality television must never mimic genuine reality.

10. Each adult in the free world must purchase a piece of paper that costs one right arm, one left leg, and first born son. This paper is called a "mortgage".

Oh yeah, I should probably mention just in case, killing is still bad too. Sorry, folks.

Apple Planning To Build 2.8 Million Square Foot Office--Donut Lovers Rejoice!

2011-08-14T12:49:00.000-07:00

Looks like the rousing success of the iPad and iPhone has sparked some construction plans for Apple. The city of Cupertino, California released a few renderings of Apple's newest proposed office/research building, ingeniously called "Apple Campus 2." Keeping with Apple's amazing aesthetic, the building will be unlike almost any office building before it. Comprising 2.8 million square feet, the circular building will accomodate 13,000 employees-- and also come equipped with an auditorium that will seat 1,000 people.

Apple CEO Steve Jobs says the building will be covered in curved glass, and look "a little like a spaceship landed."

Cupertino is currently reviewing plans for the building, which will entail assessing how it will impact air quality, traffic, and noise. If all goes well, and Apple can acquire the dozen or so permits they need, the building will be scheduled for completion by 2015.

Once this building is complete, I will most certainly be sending Apple my ~~well-qualified~~ resume. I need to work in a more aesthetically-pleasing environment. I'm getting tired of working in an office that looks a little like this:

via AppleInsider

You Say This Is A Pet, I Say Call A Priest

2011-08-14T10:55:00.000-07:00

So I like cats just as much as the next guy and all, but few things induce as much concentrated terror as this. This isn't fucking cute, people. This is the Devil's work.

My Favorite Images This Week

2011-08-14T09:05:00.000-07:00

So I have decided to start a new segment on StoopidDog, where each week I will post a collection of my favorite images I have come across on the web. Here are some of my faves for this week--

image source: Everyfuckingwhere

Giant Stinson Beach Bubbles

2011-08-13T18:53:00.000-07:00

I don't know much about this video. I just happened to stumble upon it during my travels in the interwebs, but I am envious. I want to do this. Bad. Like, enough to sacrifice my cat, bad.

Beautiful.

Time to Lay Down and Get a Solid 8 Hours of Win

2011-08-13T18:26:00.000-07:00

MUST have. After seeing this, my lowly little hammock is disappointing. Small hammock attached to two trees? Fuck that. I want a hammock that takes up my entire bedroom floor. Fall through my hammock and hit grass? Fuck that too. When my hammock fails I want to fall through the ceiling into the kitchen.

via Epic Win

Woman Mauled By Chimpanzee Gets A New Face

2011-08-13T14:02:00.000-07:00

In 2009, Charla Nash went to visit a friend where she was on the receiving end of a chimp-smackdown. The friend she was visiting kept a fully grown chimpanzee named Travis as a pet, which for reasons unknown, proceeded to maul Nash to an unrecognizable state. The attack left Charla without a face, or either of her hands.

In a happy ending to a horrific story, Charla received a full face transplant, along with two hands from an unidentified donor. The 20-hour operation which took over 30 doctors and nurses to complete, has been declared a success. While the two hands had to be removed due to complications, the face took and is doing well.

Charla had to be watched intensely following the operation, but is said to be getting stronger daily. While not fully recovered, she had a few choice words for the press:

"I will be able to smell. I will be able to eat normally. I will no longer be disfigured. I will have lips and will speak clearly once again. I will be able to kiss and hug loved ones.I will now be able to do things I once took for granted."

Congrats, Charla ;)

via Reuters

World Record-Breaking Parallel Park

2011-08-11T06:16:00.000-07:00

Ronny Wechselberger, a.k.a. "Ronny C-Rock", broke a Guiness World Record back in April for the tightest parallel park. The space that Ronny had to navigate his vehicle into was only 10 inches wider than the Volkswagen he was driving.

But his record was short-lived, however, when a man from China beat him out by parking in a space just about a half-inch smaller.

I will have you know, this video is exactly 45 seconds long. If that were me, you could watch The Titanic in the time it would take me to parallel park that bitch. I would prefer to break other records; like "most Cheetos eaten" in a day. Or, maybe "most sex had in a back alley dumpster." Maybe.

via The Sun